When my son was between 1 & 2 1/2 he was very particular about his toys and how they were put away at the end of the day. We had rows of cars and trucks, everything had its own spot, drawer or storage container and things were very organized. Then one day he just decided not to care anymore.
It was fine with him if everything was just strewn across the floor, or in a big pile in the corner, or if there was just a little path leading from his doorway to his bed. We tried everything from standing over him and making him clean, to taking his toys away from him when he was refusing to put things away. Nothing seemed to matter. At one point we took almost everything, all his books, trucks, Legos, train tracks, stuffed animals, toy box. He literally had like 5 things to play with for an entire week. We started to give him things back slowly, but still it didn't seem to make a difference. He wasn't going to clean and he didn't care what we had to say about it or how much time he had to stay in time-out over it.
So for a while, we gave up on it and didn't force the issue. We would help him clean occasionally and otherwise we would shove his stuff to the side until the next day. We did start to have him do chores in the meantime. He does simple things like putting away the regular silverware, sorting it into the correct spots, helping to cook dinner and desserts, and throwing the dirty clothes down the laundry chute. Sometimes he gets rewarded with a coin for his piggy bank, a sticker or a special treat, and sometimes he is simply told that he did a good job and "thank-you" for helping out. This seems to have taught him some much needed responsibility.
Now that we have a basis to work with we have started giving him a set amount of time, usually 15-25 minutes depending on how messy his room is, to get his things put away where they belong. If he does not complete the task in the given timeframe he loses anything that is not put away in its proper place. The next day if he gets everything put away and we haven't had to fuss at him then we will allow him to choose a toy that he lost previously, or get an extra book read to him at bedtime. We have been using this system for a few days now and it seems to be working really well. The first day he lost some things that he really liked to play with. The second day he barely finished in time, even with a lot of harping. And tonight he was done in record time and got a toy back and an extra book.
Have you experienced this with any of your children? What seemed to motivate them to clean their room the best?
It was fine with him if everything was just strewn across the floor, or in a big pile in the corner, or if there was just a little path leading from his doorway to his bed. We tried everything from standing over him and making him clean, to taking his toys away from him when he was refusing to put things away. Nothing seemed to matter. At one point we took almost everything, all his books, trucks, Legos, train tracks, stuffed animals, toy box. He literally had like 5 things to play with for an entire week. We started to give him things back slowly, but still it didn't seem to make a difference. He wasn't going to clean and he didn't care what we had to say about it or how much time he had to stay in time-out over it.
So for a while, we gave up on it and didn't force the issue. We would help him clean occasionally and otherwise we would shove his stuff to the side until the next day. We did start to have him do chores in the meantime. He does simple things like putting away the regular silverware, sorting it into the correct spots, helping to cook dinner and desserts, and throwing the dirty clothes down the laundry chute. Sometimes he gets rewarded with a coin for his piggy bank, a sticker or a special treat, and sometimes he is simply told that he did a good job and "thank-you" for helping out. This seems to have taught him some much needed responsibility.
Now that we have a basis to work with we have started giving him a set amount of time, usually 15-25 minutes depending on how messy his room is, to get his things put away where they belong. If he does not complete the task in the given timeframe he loses anything that is not put away in its proper place. The next day if he gets everything put away and we haven't had to fuss at him then we will allow him to choose a toy that he lost previously, or get an extra book read to him at bedtime. We have been using this system for a few days now and it seems to be working really well. The first day he lost some things that he really liked to play with. The second day he barely finished in time, even with a lot of harping. And tonight he was done in record time and got a toy back and an extra book.
Have you experienced this with any of your children? What seemed to motivate them to clean their room the best?
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