Today has been a challnge for me. I am not sure I quite know what to do with my 4 year old anymore. He has grown into an independant, strong willed, defiant child. I know that he knows right from wrong, but it seems like he thinks he is big enough to decide rather or not he is going to follow the rules. Since he is our oldest child there have been many instances in which we have threatened certain dismay and then not followed through or even doled out punishments that have become too much of a pain to enforce so we have given in and just let him be.
I have read enough articles and talked to enough parents to know that this action/non-action on our part is nothing but futile in our attempts to get him to behave. Most of the time the punishments he has been given came from either my husband or I, instead of being a punishment we discussed and agreed upon. They were also mostly determined in the spur of the moment, when tempers were at there worst.
Today Aiden snuck into the refridgerator (which has since been baby-proofed again) and got himself a juice drink. He proceeded to take that drink into his bedroom and our it on several toys, his carpet for his toy cars and as if that wasn't enough of a mess he decided to see what would happen if he spit some of it into the back of his TV. Needless to say the results weren't good.
Just for some background, we did a lot of thinking before we just gave a TV to a 4 year old. My husband was all for it at first and I was against it. We went back and forth and decided together that he was too young and would be better off making some use of his imagination, as dangerous as that seems to be sometimes. Then out of the blue his Grandma showed up with a small TV in hand that she had replaced with a different one. Within two days a cable was connected to Aiden's room so that we were able to watch some of our favorite shows in the living room in peace while the children were still awake. It gave us new leverage to get him to clean his room at night and behave in general, but today that has all changed.
I am proud of myself for being able to remain fairly calm upon being told that the TV was broken and how it became that way (I am still hoping that his Daddy can fix it). Instead of just spouting off some random punishment without thinking about it, I calmly advised Aiden that he would be sitting on his stool for the day until nap time and once his Daddy came home we would decide on his punishment together.
After some discussion we decided that drinks would no longer be allowed out of the kitchen, the refridgerator will remain locked, and no Nick Jr for two days. The next electronic goody Aiden will be getting is a CD player, and once he can show us that he can take care of one of those we will consider actually replacing the TV. I really hope this makes an impact on him.
On May 5th I had fun with the kids while Josh was at work. Aiden made a fort out of the loveseat and the girls were given some extra space to roam for about an hour before nap time. While they were napping, I sorted through all the toys in the play yard and took out a lot of things that needed batteries or were just creating clutter and replaced them with a Little People Doll House, courtesy of Bethany Stewart and her children. Thank you so much for all the Little People stuff you passed down to us, it is really getting a lot of use. Emma discovered the doorbell on the house today and was tickled pink.
I was actually almost finished with this post around 3:45 pm today and then Comcast experienced an outage in our area for a few hours. I called in to tell work at 4:15pm and they said to see if it came back up before 5:50 pm. It was still down and they coded me for Tech leave for my whole shift. They said I could call in and choose to work part of my shift if it came back up. I decided to take the afternoon and spend it with my family instead. We took a walk (all of us including the dog) up Dry Hollow Rd., met some neighbors and a couple of little boys that will be in preschool with Aiden in the Fall, and got to have a nice stroll with each other. It has been a long time since we have done something so simple and enjoyable as a family. I am glad I chose to take a little time off work for "family time" instead of logging in to make just a little more money. Sometimes being poor and happy is better than having extra money and missing out on life.
Time to go finish off a great day with a great night with my Love now that the kids are all in bed. Night All! :)
I have read enough articles and talked to enough parents to know that this action/non-action on our part is nothing but futile in our attempts to get him to behave. Most of the time the punishments he has been given came from either my husband or I, instead of being a punishment we discussed and agreed upon. They were also mostly determined in the spur of the moment, when tempers were at there worst.
Today Aiden snuck into the refridgerator (which has since been baby-proofed again) and got himself a juice drink. He proceeded to take that drink into his bedroom and our it on several toys, his carpet for his toy cars and as if that wasn't enough of a mess he decided to see what would happen if he spit some of it into the back of his TV. Needless to say the results weren't good.
Just for some background, we did a lot of thinking before we just gave a TV to a 4 year old. My husband was all for it at first and I was against it. We went back and forth and decided together that he was too young and would be better off making some use of his imagination, as dangerous as that seems to be sometimes. Then out of the blue his Grandma showed up with a small TV in hand that she had replaced with a different one. Within two days a cable was connected to Aiden's room so that we were able to watch some of our favorite shows in the living room in peace while the children were still awake. It gave us new leverage to get him to clean his room at night and behave in general, but today that has all changed.
I am proud of myself for being able to remain fairly calm upon being told that the TV was broken and how it became that way (I am still hoping that his Daddy can fix it). Instead of just spouting off some random punishment without thinking about it, I calmly advised Aiden that he would be sitting on his stool for the day until nap time and once his Daddy came home we would decide on his punishment together.
After some discussion we decided that drinks would no longer be allowed out of the kitchen, the refridgerator will remain locked, and no Nick Jr for two days. The next electronic goody Aiden will be getting is a CD player, and once he can show us that he can take care of one of those we will consider actually replacing the TV. I really hope this makes an impact on him.
I was actually almost finished with this post around 3:45 pm today and then Comcast experienced an outage in our area for a few hours. I called in to tell work at 4:15pm and they said to see if it came back up before 5:50 pm. It was still down and they coded me for Tech leave for my whole shift. They said I could call in and choose to work part of my shift if it came back up. I decided to take the afternoon and spend it with my family instead. We took a walk (all of us including the dog) up Dry Hollow Rd., met some neighbors and a couple of little boys that will be in preschool with Aiden in the Fall, and got to have a nice stroll with each other. It has been a long time since we have done something so simple and enjoyable as a family. I am glad I chose to take a little time off work for "family time" instead of logging in to make just a little more money. Sometimes being poor and happy is better than having extra money and missing out on life.
Time to go finish off a great day with a great night with my Love now that the kids are all in bed. Night All! :)
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